Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is wine microwaveable?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
