you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
her vagine was all disorganized.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
