let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
