she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize