Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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