Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
