I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
