TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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