what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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