You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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