I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
