idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize