I am spending my child support on dildos
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have already put on my inside pants.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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