super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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