My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
