In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
