First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
