try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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