Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
