If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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