So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
