Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
God I need to hump something, right now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize