Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
