was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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