Someone shit on the floor
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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