You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
