this boner is exhausting
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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