i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Rumble strips road head = magical
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
