I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
