She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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