At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my sisters under your porch take her home
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
