well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
