Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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