Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
