PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
