Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
