Swine flu. Run for my life!
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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