i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
