I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
