Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
