Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
