i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
