it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
