I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
