she kept yelling 'call me bella'
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
