If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
