I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize