The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
