sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
