oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
