I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
