I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
they're like a gay fantastic four
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
