He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
