There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
