just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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