Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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