im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I understand Curling. That high.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
