Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
