sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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