I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
