What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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