FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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