Midget sex pt 2 tonight
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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