Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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