I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
