Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
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