Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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